How To Deal With Difficult People In A Christ Like Way

Dealing with difficult people as a christian can be very challenging. However,The Bible admonishes every believer ,young or old to love and be at peace with all men. But we all know one or two people that make loving them a challenge. These “difficult people” intentionally overstep their boundaries, make fun of your personal principles and disrespect you in so many ways. They may be family members, colleagues at work, classmates, a random stranger,neighbors or even another Christian. How then do we deal with difficult people as a Christian? Is there a strategy to use when dealing with difficult people as a christian?

If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18

1.First Step when dealing with difficult people as a christian is to EXAMINE YOURSELF:

When dealing with a difficult person as a christian,The first step is to examine yourself. Are they being difficult or are you projecting? According to psychology every human has the defense mechanism of the ego. Projecting is one of such mechanism. This is when an individual attributes their own negative thoughts to another. So examine yourself. Ask yourself questions like “why don’t I get along with this person? Do I have any prejudice towards this person? Do I have any assumptions about this person that makes it difficult for us to get along? It is easier to see someone else’s fault (Matthew 7:3-5, Proverbs 10:12).

Now that you are done examining yourself and realize you are not the problem, the next step is to identify traits that makes this person difficult. Below are some traits of a difficult person:

They have poor interpersonal relationship
Anger Issues, negative attitude and speech
Display arrogance and hate being told what to do
Poor communication skills

2. See them from God’s Point Of View (POV):

If you were to ask God about this person, what will be His response? Try to see this person from God’s POV; this will change your perspective. God desires that we live in peace with one another thus He will not create a difficult person. Please note that although we were all created by God, some are not of God. Some difficult people are under some spiritual influence which makes them act some certain way towards you. If that is the case then you take it to God in prayer.

Remember as a Christian although you are in the flesh, you do not battle in the flash. The weapons of your warfare are not carnal. Knowing this will make it easier for you to be empathetic. Try to understand the perspective of the difficult person. When dealing with difficult people as a christian,Empathy can foster compassion and help build bridges even in contentious situations.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;
2 Corinthians 10:3-4

3. Pray for them:

Pray for this person. If they are being used by the devil, pray that God sets them free and give them new characters. Some “difficult people” may be going through some mental problems. They may be walking around with baggage full of trauma. This affects how they interact with people. Thus it is very important that you pray for them. Pray that God mends their broken heart and heal them from past trauma (Luke 4:18). Weather they are mentally disturbed or under some spiritual influence never stop praying for them. Also lead by example. When interacting or dealing with difficult people as a christian, you must demonstrate Christ like behavior in your actions and words. Your actions speak louder than words, it can influence the difficult person positively.

You need wisdom to handle such individuals thus it’s paramount to seek for discernment and guidance through prayer. Ask for wisdom and discernment to navigate challenging interactions with a spirit of love and understanding.

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4. Communication:

Effective and proper communication plays a key role when dealing with difficult people as a christian. There is a lot at stake for example you can be easily misunderstood by the said person. None the less, it is very paramount you explain your boundaries and principles to them in a calm manner. Engage them in an open and respectful communication.

Clearly express your thoughts and feelings. Avoid being confrontational or judgmental. Also avoid using harsh words. Remember harsh answer stirs strife (proverbs 15:1). Do well to listen to understand and don’t be too quick to react to the things they say. During the conversation leave every negative thought you have about them at the door. Even if they don’t show you respect, you respect them and treat them with love. Remember when you do well to those who hate you heap a pill of hot coals on their head.

Question: What do I do when communication with a difficult person becomes difficult?

In such cases, it is advisable to seek help. Let someone who is experienced and knows how to handle such situation step in (Matthew 18:15-17). Also avoid narrating the story to the gossip or letting hate build up in your heart (Proverbs 10:12)

5. Love from afar:

Have you tried everything within your power to get along but they still proof to be difficult? For the sake of your own mental health please love them from afar. Not every situation requires confrontation. Choose your battles wisely and discern when to address issues or when to let them go in the spirit of peace. Give them space and minimize contact. Keep praying for them behind the scenes. You can love them from afar.

Conclusion

We cannot control other people’s action but we can determine how we choose to respond to their shenanigans. Remember you are accountable to God. How you respond matters. Jesus had some few difficult people in His corner. They watched His every move and had something to say but Jesus always had the right response. There were times where he kept quiet too. As ambassadors of Christ I pray we receive grace on how to handle difficult people and situations in ways that please God. In challenging situations, may we strive to remain patient, understanding that everyone has flaws and struggles. I pray the lord gives us grace to approach difficult people with a calm and composed demeanor Amen

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