THE BITTER TRUTH ABOUT FORGIVENESS

 I for one have been battling with forgiveness. Looking at my life, so many people have hurt me and It really hurts. Those who hurt me were people who are close to me and to my heart. I always told myself that I can never forgive them, and even if I do, it’ll take time!

How can I forgive someone who has done me so dirty? They don’t deserve forgiveness! I held on to this mindset for so long until God reminded me that I don’t deserve His forgiveness either. He always forgives me whether I deserve it or not. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to forgive just as He did.

 At first, I was like God you’re joking! There’s no way I can forgive them for all they’ve done, not right now, it hurts and I’m not ready!

I started doing bible plans and watching sermons on forgiveness and praying about it because it was weighing heavy on my heart!

3 Things nobody tells you about Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness is not reconciliation

And God showed me that forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. Just because I’ve forgiven them doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. Forgiveness is what is expected of us, as Christians! But we’re not at all expected to reconcile with whoever hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that all they’ve done is erased and now you can go back to the way things were before the hurt! Forgiveness means that you release them from all negativity and condemnation! It means that although they hurt you, you know God wants you to forgive.

I realized that the reason it’s so difficult for us to forgive is that we so often associate forgiveness with forgetting! “Let’s forgive and forget” and really I think that’s the problem. We all expect forgiveness to come with forgetting, and it doesn’t! We don’t allow ourselves to forgive because we can’t forget what happened.  We’re not expected to forget what happened, it will always be there! It happened! But it shouldn’t stop you from letting go! Let go of the resentment that comes with the hurt!

Forgiveness means that you release them from all negativity and condemnation!

2. It is not also a feeling

 We say it’s not easy to forgive because it hurts so much! We’re not ready to forgive! We’ll forgive when it stops hurting! Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a choice! When someone has done you wrong, you CHOOSE to forgive them, regardless of how you’re feeling. We need to forgive people who have hurt us, even if they don’t apologize. we don’t often get apologies from people who hurt us, does that mean we shouldn’t forgive them?

No!!!! We must forgive them even if they haven’t said sorry! True forgiveness has no strings attached! It’s not an “I’ll forgive you if you say sorry” or “I’ll forgive you in time, it still hurts” it’s an “I forgive you completely for what you did”!

Forgiveness is not a process, healing from the hurt is!

When we decide to forgive someone, we make that choice and talk to God about it. We ask Him to help us stick to our decision. We ask Him to remind us that even on days when we’re reminded of the pain, He must remind us of our decision!

 Even when they hurt you again and again and again! Matthew 18:21 & 22, Luke 17:4 teaches us that forgiveness is not a one-time thing! We’ve got to forgive them every single time they hurt us!

It sounds silly,” like why should I keep forgiving someone who keeps hurting me? They obviously don’t care, if they did, they wouldn’t keep hurting me.”

But then I think of God! How many times do I do naughty things, and go back to ask for forgiveness? Countless times! He forgives me each time! I think if we’re called to be an image of God, shouldn’t that mean we should forgive like Him, That unconditional forgiveness?

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3 Forgiveness is beneficial to you and not the person who hurt you

Another thing I realized about holding on to that hurt is that it hurts you instead of healing you. When you spend your days holding a grudge over someone who hurt you, it weighs heavy on your heart and brings you down. When we decide to forgive, we not only release the person from condemnation, but we free ourselves!

 Living with a heavy heart because someone hurt you is draining. When you forgive, you’re

• 1. Pleasing the Lord
• 2. Letting go of negativity and
• 3. Releasing whoever from condemnation. 

 Matthew 18 speaks on forgiveness, it tells us that we should always forgive, it tells us how to forgive, and it also reminds us that God forgave us, so we should forgive others.

The Lord’s prayer sums forgiveness up for me, it says “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation”.

In this prayer, we’re asking God to forgive us just as we forgive others. This surely means we should be forgiving people a whole lot, considering how much He forgives us! The part that says “lead us not into temptation” tells me that even after forgiving we’ll be tempted to be angry but we need to ask Him to remind us of our choice!

Prayer

 Dear God thank you for the word you have put in my heart today. I pray that all who hear it will continue to do good. I pray that they can learn how to forgive. It is so important lord and I ask that you help us with that. we want to be more like you Lord. Help us! Show us how to forgive those who have hurt us. Thank you for always forgiving us, when we don’t deserve it.Thank you for being a fair and just God! We love you lord. In Jesus’ name, I pray

Amen

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